Mean Shadows

I'm not in control.

I dont care anymore.

Sensitivity

Why is it so hard to tell your friends that their hurting your feelings? Why do they never understand what you're trying to say to them? Am I just really terrible at talking to people and for some reason they don't understand what i'm saying? Its likely i guess. I just put way too much into things and then just wind up getting hurt because I'm too sensitive about it. Maybe I just need to learn to be more hard hearted.

Is being hard hearted what it's all about though? Is that what i'm supposed to be? Is everyone just going to hate me becuase I want to see my friends. Look at her friends, they hang out together all the time for the last 5 years. How is this different? Why should i only want to see her once in a blue moon? why should it matter that she sees her other friend only once every two months? It doesn't matter to me. I don't want to hang out with different people every day. Am i completely wrong? Should i just be flighty and not care? Ken sees the friends that he's had for the past 6 years every week. I barely see her anymore. No, i don't mind that you have other friends, but don't just write me off. Unless maybe you just don't want to see me anymore at all. I don't stand for waiting around for people.

Pickles and Chocolate Cake

Is there anyone else out there that just sits and thinks about garbage? and just does garbage things? hangs out with garbage people? has a garbage job? is there anyone out there that isn't actually a garbage person, but completely has a garbage life? I think there is.

If she wants to dance and drink all night, there's no one that can stop her. This is night is going to end when we're damn well ready for it to be over. We do what we do to get by. They don't know nothin about redemption, or recovery. There were moments of gold and flashes of light, the wind was so cold, the sun was so cruel. They never stop playing their song.

Garbage people make for a garbage world.

What is my next turn? Perhaps an offering of pickles and chocolate Cake will do the trick..... somehow i don't think so.

the unwanted ramblings of a confused mind

All in all, I'm glad that I gave it all up. As much as I miss my once friend, it isn't worth it to stick to something for someone else. So many people judge you for the choices that you make in life, but when it comes down to it, its completely unfair that they do. Whatever choice that you have to make, or had to make, was chosen for a reason, they cannot judge you for it.... because it's free will.

Our world is ruled by religion. Its true that if not for religion the world would likely be plauged by anarchy, simply because people are not completely honest, kind, loving etc etc etc. Do we need religion to keep our way of life in order?

The majority of people would define religion in the following way: Christian, Jewish, Buddhist, Islam, Sikh, Hindu... these are all different religions.... and this is what wikipedia says "Most definitions attempt to find a balance somewhere between overly sharp definition and meaningless generalities"

You cannot DEFINE religion. - A set of laws that we follow, Devine or not... we all have our own religion, always controlled by some kind of outside source.

Everyone follows the rules of life, because you cannot deny it. We are born, live breathe, suffer, endure, give up, suffer, move on, suffer, make choices, endure, regret, cry, get sick, learn, make mistakes, grow. This is how every single life looks. Anywhere along the line insert Death and you have every life exsisting now, and every life that has existed in the past.... and as for god, if he's there... he must be laughing, because we keep believing bullshit.

as for the afterlife, ... its AFTER life.

Do you wonder why I dont listen to the radio?

I once walked with someone without tears in my eyes, or fear in my heart.

Now, all I hear and see are distant memories of people I used to love....

All I remember is how we were crazy together, and then I realize that you're not there anymore. Even though everyone may think that I should hate you, I dont... I never will.

Let go, Jump in, There's beauty in the breakdown....

Liberation in the Ballroom.... with no shades of gray

All great stories usually begin with, "once upon a time" or "One rainy day in April" or "On a blustery day in mid September" but this one does not. It isn't a great story, and nor will it make for a great memory. All this will do is teach me a lesson.

One very normal evening, the day after christmas a young girl set out to change her life. To change her bitter feelings into nothing. As minutes drifted into hours, her anger grew into fury, and hate. Hatred against someone who she had once loved, but she would find out that what she thought was love was just a web of lies, where she had been caught up. One conversation led her to the realization that this hate would eat away at her unless it was set free, unless vengence was found. An argument of whether things are black and white or just shades of gray erupts... but he is right, there aren't any shades of gray in some situations, they're either black or white, bad or good. Love, or hate. At this point, it was clear...

She dialed the phone, he picked up and a reign of fury began... everything that had been held in for so long, the hurt and the pain and the anger. On the other end the same old sob stories began, the ones that she had put up with for so long, but this wasn't a sympathy call, this was liberation. This call was to prove that she would not be angry anymore, to show him that there was nothing but pure hatred in her heart. The lies he had told for so long would no longer hurt or hinder her. He claimed to know how much she hated him, he claimed to know it all. But even after the explination, he could not know, because he had underestimated her. There was no place for tears this time with him... or ever again. It was over... Vengence, Closure and Liberation was hers, and he was left to get everything he deserved.

Left and Leaving

There are times that I sit and wonder what will become of my life. Through good times and bad, Autumn leaves fall and a cool wind gusts by, I sit and think about you and how it won't ever be the same. Everywhere that I go, there will be a memory that was constructed along the way, through a wonderful journey. Every song I listen to will remind me of you, and will remind me of how much my heart is breaking. I will remember how great you are, and how much I never realized. For the first time in my life, there will be moments of regret, and weeks of sadness.

I will know that you are better off without me, because on your own you will grow in your own way, and not in my way. No one will know the things that were said when no one was around, or the way you looked at me from across the room. I'm glad that we've made things right, I just ask one thing from you.... Every time I say, Have fun, see you later, or goodbye... I mean I love you, but I will forever be too afraid to say it.

Thank you for everything you showed me, for letting me cry on your shoulder, my first boquet of flowers, and for letting me be your one.

the things that you never say

Its interesting to look at the world and the experiences that all of us and our friends have gone through. To look and see how they've moulded our lives and who we are.

I notice every day how opposite my sister and I are, in almost every way, we're polar opposites. Maybe that's why I look up to her so much. Long ago, I was forced with realizing how much I would miss her if she was gone. If something in my life happened, she wouldn't be there to say "Jam, whats wrong?" and even though I'd abandoned her for monthes, she would be standing right there comforting me. Even though we fight to the death, and compete for everything... it wouldn't be good any other way.

There's something that is amazing about heart break, and how it forces me to look at the good in a sad situation. Something lost - something gained. It still hurts, but there is always something that you can smile about. Trying to remember that there will be something exciting in every day, you just have to look for it. Maybe it's your nephew smiling because he knows your voice, maybe its a meteor falling from the sky, the yellow leaves, the smell in the air, or just remembering how good a cup of tea can make you feel. Like the wise man says - We have a memory so that we can have roses in winter. Life is what happens when you're busy making other plans.

Dont worry... I know that you feel trapped, and I know you feel left behind. But would you give up everything that you have now, and the one thing that makes you happy just for a little freedom? I know you wouldn't because you love him too much, and would walk through fire for him. I've never seen you so happy, and I've never seen you love someone so much. The sweet isn't as sweet without the bitter. You are my strongest stronghold, you are my favorite person to laugh with, I will always be here for you. You will always be my best friend.

I love you sheena.

From what I once was..

A realization that something that once meant the world to her, is now just a distant memory that she doesn't care about. It seems as if life has started over, and everything has been reset, a second chance has been provided, with a heart thats ready for something fresh.. something that is already there, waiting to be hers...

... She's ready to take the chance...


and the chance is ready to be taken..






This is for you.. Please remember the things I've said..

Today you are who you want to be

Its scary to me to realize that the people you think are the strongest, can sometimes be the most lost. Is it only because you want to see that person as your stronghold that when they break down your so shocked? What do you do to help someone that you've never had to help before? I guess sacrifice is what it comes down to. The people you love are the ones you need to stand up for.

My Dearest Ashley

Oh Naan... Don't Leave me here to suffer in a moustacheless world....

Its in the ABC's of growin up..

Somehow she wondered if it would ever be the same. Where would she go from where she stood? What would they say? A song rang through her head constantly, making her wonder if she could ever be the way she was before. The once strong person that could help anyone was the one that needed all the help that she could get. All that was left was a crumbled and broken person, and wondering if there was any glue to put her back together. She didn't want to be left alone any longer.. but would they want to help? this question repeated.. and she began to cry.

I hope you know who you are...

Is there an actual point in somones life that they realize that all they do is hurt people? It may sound synnical, but why care so much about other peoples problems? Not to be taken in a cold hearted way, a good friend will always be there to listen, but why is it that some will blatently be your best friend one day, and completely turn their back on you the next. Instead of being happy because of progress you have made, they spread rumours about you! It comes down to being too worried about other peoples problems. All you really can do is listen and put in your two cents from past experiances.. nothing more will make it different. In the end, it really isn't your choice to make, there are rules that everyone bends and breaks.. but really its your heart that matters in the end, not what other people think. People change.. Hearts change.. Opinions change.. its a part of life, and sometimes it happens fast... before you get so interested in someone else's problem.. maybe you can take a look at yourself first.




I thought you were my freind... I guess I was wrong all this time.

I ♥ Mr. Tattoo

This is my Tattoo... if you haven't seen it.. here it is.. i LOVE IT! I just wanted to state that! That is all for today folks...

the storm..

The turrential rain has continued. While i'm sitting here looking out the window, three rainbows are visible, and the sun glistens off every raindrop. While looking at the sky, I can see every drop fall.. but there is no way to capture it. Its daytime and i can see the origin of a single bolt of lightning.. and the deafening thunder strikes. The Vehement storm continues.....

Questions..

Is there really a time in everyone's life that they can see things turning around for the better? Does everyone get that luxuary? Or is it just that you will just go through days upon days unhappy and miserable, and then suddenly one day you're happy again? There were too many thoughts running through her head to even make a decision. Sleep had also become a luxuary she was deprived of.

It's strange that one single sight could make her cry, it seemed, with joy.. because of beauty. But was it really joyful crying? Was she really happy, at all? Rhetorical questions rang through her head.. what to do .. what to do?

Everyone and anyone could give their opinions, and advice.. but not until SHE understood would she be able to decide. But do you ever really understand your own life?

I don't think there are any answers... And I dont think there ever will be.

First Breath after coma..

Today I wittnessed a phenominal thing..

It took my breath away, somehow...

I present.. the best of...

Don't be fooled, this is no special occasion, I was reading through the earlier blogs and I simply felt the need to do a "best of"... so boys and girls.. here it comes, favorite sentences and statements from the last year and a bit.. hold on to your pants...

March 29/05
you look around the train to see the little old asian lady SCREAMING some story to her other little old asian friend, a drunken man talking on the phone about how he has heard that his friend is a killer and stabbed someone in the neck, a girl with glasses PICKING HER NOSE! And a man who looks quite alot like your grandfather nodding off, ON YOUR SHOULDER!

March 31/05
from : The "I don't Care" movement
Interestingly enough, you may thing "this girl is on flowers, it doesn't matter what you say, its how you say it!"

April 1/05
So the next time you see that plastic bag being trampled by the rain and mud, realize that you can contribute to the beauty too. The easiest way is by throwing that pipe wrench on the beach where it will be in its true habitat.

Love through Bodily Functions
... you just have to read that whole one.. its ridiculous!

April 23/05
7) Do Crazy things unexpectadley, this way people will not think you are a snob (espically if you are beautiful and witty like myself)
4) While being photographed make the stupidest faces possible, this will add to the effect of the picture.

Healing Pain With Laughter
yet another that will make u laugh!

May 17/05
we will refer to this as "LETS HAVE SOME CAKE!"
(to clairify this, i believe it was said by Houston.. in reffering to married people.. "Well, we can't have sex with other people... LET S HAVE CAKE!")

June 28/05
practice photoboothing, this way you will become more experianced in the art and will one day be able to flash, change clothes and positions in all one session! It will definatley give you joy joy feelings inside when after, you get to look at your photos!

Sept 28/05
Feeling rather perplexed by this phenomenon, she politely yelled to Neesha her sister. "Get the HELL out and look at my wheel." In a FLASH Neesha was out of the car shaking her head. "Your FREAKING tire is flat" she said.

At this time i'd like to take a break and re iterate the fact that i hate the oilers. even if they are the Canadain team in the cup.. i still hate them.. HATE i tell you, HATE!!!!

The Funniest Series of comments..

May 9/06
Everything seems to be falling apart, but instead of letting it happen.. you dispute it. Remove everything until the confusion goes away. Until this affliction has succumb. Until this vexation has expired. But what is really expendable.. your love? your life? your self? ..

Anyway kids.. I would say that is the BEST of.. i definatly reccomend taking a glimpse of the previous posts.. you may just find yourself rolling on the floor a few minutes later..

Lame

LAME
Lame

That time..

I think there comes a time in everyones carrier when they look in the staff fridge, see beer, and ask themselves if it would be wrong to take 6 of them and drink them at their desk. "perhaps I should just bring that bottle of whisky to work tomorrow" they'll say. I say, it doesn't really matter folks, either way you're getting hammered! so,.. take the free beer, keep the whisky at home... you'll need it!

Take it a day at a time...

Confusion beckons you ... I can see it. You think about your life and the situation your in and wonder. The confusion continues to beckon, but now it's moved to other areas of your life, plaguing them as well. And then not only are you plagued by confusion, but affliction as well. The days pass and you search for solace, but there is none to be found. Your life has become a constant vexation, and you start to crumble. Everything seems to be falling apart, but instead of letting it happen.. you dispute it. Remove everything until the confusion goes away. Until this affliction has succumb. Until this vexation has expired. But what is really expendable.. your love? your life? your self? This isn't the way, you must think.. back before the confusion... where did this dilemma begin?

I can see you won't do this, you will eliminate everything, until there is only obliteration.. and you will be left with nothing, not even yourself. There will be nothing... only nullity.

It's All Relative

It seems that everything is relative. Candy can be sweet, but so much sweetier when tasted after the bitter. The heat is so much warmer after coming in from the cold. But is love really better after your heart has been broken?

I think it would be safe to say that there is nothing like the first time you fall in love. You're not tainted, you dont have any previous heartbreak to reflect on. Its like, you have one chance to give it your all.. and after that, you dont have it all... because part of it was taken. That first one has a part of you, and you can't get it back. All I have to say is.. Unrequited love hurts alot, especially when its your first love... there's nothing quite like that.

The end.

Minimalistic.

It seems there is nothing left to say in what has seem to become a run on sentence. When will this end? I'm tired of it.

It could be different

I always think that saying "what if" is useless. But what if we had never decided to go to the meeting that day? Things could be different.

From the dark depths... it escapes

Its funny how different trials in your life affect you. Something that you thought would be the hardest thing to get over, is really not that hard. In fact, it seems so easy you wonder why you didn't change the situation so much earlier. At the same time though, they're so important, if you hadn't been in that situation, you most likely wouldn't be where you are now. Obviousley this could be good or bad. I disagree when people say "everything happens for a reason" when referring to 'fate.' You decide your own life, how happy or sad or enjoyable it is, its up to you! Yes, everything does happen for 'a reason' and that reason is the decisions that we've made.

I am always struck with dissapointment when it seems that decisions in someones life are being made by someone other than themself. I guess this happens alot... but you only get one shot at life, do what you want to! If you want to make stirfry on Valentines day, DO IT... if you want to eat Taco time.. DO IT!... If you want to quit your job for no apparent reason, DO IT.. you only get to live once! Why do we always have to be slaves of our own life? REBEL i say! Do the extraordinary, or unordinary.. just do whatever.. its your life, you're the one that has to live it!





This is a picture from our trip to VAN Island. The sky turned out to look SO amazing.. it looks like a backdrop. There were many amazing things seen there! What a fun good time, Perhaps I shall move there!

They seem to be at a loss.... for thoughts

She looked around, dissapointed in the others. She had lost something, but it definatley wasn't her conviction. Frustrated that she had failed where everyone else had seemed to be succeeding. But why? Because she would not forfit her opinion?! It didn't make sense to her, but at the same time it did. Because he still loved her, in a way she hadn't lost.

Why would you try and change something you truely believe because someone else doesn't ? Nothing was making sense, but she had seen so many people change their mind for someone else. Maybe that is what it was really about, sacrifice of yourself. But how long could that sacrifice really last before you got tired of not having an opinion. Then everything would fall apart, because you never really stayed true to yourself.

Confused and worn out, she dropped it.. to be thought about on a different day! Although she was still so torn apart, you could sometimes witness a smile. It would come and go with the blink of an eye, but there was still a glimmer of happiness in her. She found it in her ideas, and questions, something no one else could change.

Ooh... i'm leaavin ON A JET PLANE!!

Not an ordinary love... not an ordinary lie

With each day that passes comes new challanges. With every hour she dies a little bit more inside. And it seems she can feel her heart breaking. Nothing seems exciting, and even the thought of mustering up enough energy to walk around seems impossible. It's all wrong, and with each lingering thought of him.. she cries a little bit more. Not even pretending to be ok seems to work. The face she puts on looks like a paper mache mask, one that was very poorly done. Without hesitation she'll wear it, most likely for a long time.

this is dedicated to him...

Just waiting...

Salty tear drops trickled into her coffee cup as she sat there listening. REALITY... it had struck once again, not for the first time in her life. A sad silence had come over her life for a while, no knocking at the door, no laughing on the street. Her life had been filled with frustration and confusion. It seemed to be a constant game, one where she didn't know the rules. Everyone told her that she was cheating herself, but she didn't see how. Short cuts through here, and dodging bullets over there, and waiting.... always waiting. How long could she really wait to be noticed?

Elevators..

I find it hilarious when people get into the elevator, push the button and then proceed to STARE at the buttons, all the way up to 36! There are TV's in our elevators they pretty much have the news, and it repeats the same thing until about 2 and then the evening news starts to come up. I have wittnessed a man practically being crushed by a door because he wanted to finish reading the news. ITS NOT LIKE IT WOULDN"T BE THERE IN TEN MINUTES! Our elevators also say that they can fit 22 people, but I have a very hard time believeing this as when you get ten in there its cramped. Perhaps it was a typo and then ment to write 22 children.

I have also noticed that I simply cannot carry out the simple task of drinking a coffee without spilling it on me, or my keyboard or my computer, or somewhere on my desk. I think its inevitable that i will always be covered in coffee. Also, i realize this post sucks.. so.... go to hell... JERKFACE!

Red Skies in the morning....

She sat there looking at a picture of a beach, with a red sky and orange sand. She had been plagued with dreams. Dreams of the past, coming into the future. A poem reaked havoc on her mind, and looking at the sky no longer seemed to comfort her.

Music plays in the background as he tells her how he feels. She feels stupid and confused. The streetlamp lights up the dark night, he walkes away and she is left crying. She loves him, but he seems so lost. She let it happen, and in fact she wanted it to. Neither would it be the first or last time it happened.

She would make a sad attempt at mending. Most things she said would be laced with the sadness that only a broken heart felt. Afraid that she meant nothing, she would still go on giving her all. No longer would her skies be sunny and blue. She would wake to a red sky every morning.

Twice the bell has rung...

I heard you blaming me... for the things you have done. The mistakes you have made, and the reasons you have made them. I heard you tell him that its my fault, that if not for me.. things would be different.

I hope you realize that it really isn't my fault, that you can only blame yourself. These concequences are a result of your actions, and could only be changed by you. If they think differently of you, you shouldn't be surprised... you wanted it to be different .. and now it is.

Do you know what you've done? Do you know what you've ruined? I could not have saved it, even if I tried... your self distructivness has come to a climax, and now I believe you will have to decide...

What kind of life do I actually want?

An overview of what she calls life.

The question of the day seemed to be "how were your holidays?" This seemed to be a simple enough question, although she had a hard time answering it. It seems that she always has troubles answering questions like this. A period of time where things have gone up and down can only be described as mediocre. But no one wants to hear anything but "it was great!"

Starting out with a holiday spent alone, gifts she couldn't afford and then progressing to the surreal event of witnessing a man bleeding as a result of being stabbed in the entrance of a mall. Countless days spent packing and thinking, anticipating the move, the future.. the past.

A new home seemed to bring her some happiness, something she had been wanting for a long time. And perhaps it was this new home that brought on a pleasant but disturbing dream, that would leave her unsettled in her thoughts. There should be no need to worry, it was after all.. only a dream. And things would never be that way.

Tis the Season..

As everyone got ready to enjoy the season, she sat there.. confused on how to feel. Happy that he was ok, but afraid for what could happen. It seems that so many enjoy the season, get excited for it, family and the like... but this always seemed to be the time when she was at her worst. Maybe it was that "new Beginning" that everyone talked about, but she feared so much. But maybe the new year would bring along a new life, a busier one..

A break is what she would get... a very much needed break, a chance to regroup, Move to a new place.. and what a better time than January 1 to get things started. Something seemed to feel like it was missing, and it was him.. She knew he would be all alone on Christmas, something so important to him. As proud as everyone felt, he was still alone.

Perhaps she would start to see those things that she saw before, that just made her laugh. For some reason she had started to ignore it all. Suddenly it seemed like she had to remember what to laugh at, something that had never posed a problem before. She would work it out and everything would change again. Just like they say "Change is one thing you can count on!"

Have a safe Holiday Season Everyone!

Stand up and face it

He had told her everything, and she had expected the worst. It wasn't the end, but it would be a change. She had found a diamond with a flaw, and wasn't about to throw it away. It should have had a greater value, but that didn't make it worthless. If nobody had flaws then the world would be a different place.

Be true to her word, or be true to herself? She could do both, tough love is what they would call it. He had given her a chance to get away from it all, but she didn't want it. Betrayel wasn't in her personality, nor did she want it to be. Not everyone would have told her the truth, many would have hid it. But he didn't. He stood up, and stood out.. said the hard thing, and gave her a choice. It wouldn't be easy, and many wouldn't understand, but she would not do the wrong thing... and throw him away.

As She sat there contimplating the event of telling him, she felt distress. What was he feeling at this very minute? For some reason she felt like she was falling apart. Her heart went out to him, what a time to be alone. And she was sure that is what he was feeling. 14 hours and she missed him more than ever. There was nothing left to do but wait.

Just another day..

As She reflected on the weekend she found herself feeling lost, alone and confused. She didn't know if she should trust him or not. Perhaps it actually wasn't really a question of trust, but maybe more of a suspicion. A long line of phone calls and answering machines left her worring about him. What had he been up to? Was there a specific reason that he was avoiding her? Her questions remained unanswered... and were constantly pestering her. She told herself that somewhere there was an answer, but she didn't know how to find it.

He wasn't a fan of confrontation, and neither was she. But was there really another choice in this situation? The real work would be GETTING TO SEE HIM, so she would be given the chance to talk to him.

She sat there scheming, fixing something so she KNEW he would show up. Perhaps she could lure him with a chocolate cake... or perhaps she would convince him that she was deathly ill. These both seemed like a formidable challange, as she didn't know how to make a decent chocolate cake, and being deathly ill would most likely involve a hospital.

She decided to do further investigating into the situation before she came to a decision. She would find out the truth, and SOON!

Untitled

When does dissatisfation with yourself turn into the complete distruction of your life?

This is my question.

Somehow it seems that when someone isn't satisfied with themselvs it leads to alot of generally bad things. They're sad, quiet, or perhaps rageful. Another thing that seems to happen is suicidal thoughts. I guess the real question is, what happened so bad that the person has come to think that they have no way out?

I once knew a young girl who was very happy, all the time. She was always laughing and smiling. But somewhere along the line it seemed that something got destroyed, and all of her happiness slipped away. I could never really figure out what it was. It seemed like she never wanted to be herself, or live her own life.. only someone elses. I don't think that she ever figured out why things turned out that way. This ultimatley lead to, not the demise of her... but of the little happy girl. It seems she didn't even know how to be herself anymore.

What do you do to help a person like this?

`()'''''''

The mystery of the missing chocolate...

Now to you this may sound like someone lost their chocolate bar, or perhaps they're chocolate cake, or maybe someone stole their chocolate raisins. But I am not talking about cake or raisins. As they walked into safeway on a lovely November evening, she admitted she had been craving chocolate milk. They went to the back, picked up eggnog, silk and some chocolate milk. (Now you may be thinking that this is turning out to be a very boring story, but there may be a turn of events)

They got in their amazing little car and drove home. Upon arrival in the kitchen she put everything away and opened the chocolate milk for a nice refreshing glass, but to her surprise it didnt seem to be mixed. She held it shut and shook it violently, opened it... and it was still not mixed. At this point frustration started to set in and she decided to taste the milk. To her surprise, it didn't taste anything like chocolate milk. It was in fact, WHITE MILK, in a chocolate milk container. At this point everyone was so dissapointed that they all cried themselvs to sleep.

There would be no chocolate in this milk tonight.

the man...

As the man sat there in his chair in front of her, she wondered.... "what is he doing... he's kinda creepy looking, IS HE PLAYING WITH HIS ZIPPER!?!?!?!" Yes these are the things that went through her head as he sat there, and as he walked away, weird sweater and all.. she was left smirking.

Her Letter...

This is her letter............

No 4th Wall to Break..

Check out this site:

http://www.no4thwall.com

Pretty Hilarious webcomics.....



<- This Guy is my favorite, he's an asshole like me!!!

When Children turn to gambling....

As We sat in a busy resturaunt one ordinary day, we coulden't help but evesdrop on the table approximatley one foot away from ours. "So, I'm getting very tired of these casino's, he's always going and wasting his money" Said the Sad Indecisive Mother. (we'll call her SIM) At this point she starts to tell the other women the story about how her 18 ear old son is always going to the casino and wasting money, etc. After listening to the story the Women in Black.(WIB) says to the SIM, "Well you know, in my house when someone lives there they have to live by my rules. When I say 'no more casino's' , there will be no more casino's." After this their conversation seems to get quite boring, we notice that they are all drinking water with lime and have all ordered the same thing. We talk etc, when again their conversation becomes interesting.

"Lately i've heard alot about ...... YOUNG PEOPLE...... playing POKER and CARDS after work, they're all inviting one another over to 'PLAY POKER'" says the SIM. WIB chimes in " and for MONEY, REAL MONEY!!" Flabergasted, the SIM comes out with a GASP and an"oh my goodness" sounding very sad and dissapointed. Now my associate ........ who will remain unnamed as she embarrased herself, LAUGHS SO LOUD. .... somehow.. i think they knew we were listening.

At this point, their conversation again becomes uninteresting and we spend the few minutes quietly making fun of the dissapointment that young people are playing poker "FOR MONEY". When suddenly SIM finds apeice of hair in her food, she comes out with an "OH no" and sits... seemingly pondering her very existance. WIB askes her "what are you going to do?!?!" Now most of us at this point would just say, oh well, free meal... but no.. she is sooooo dissapointed in this that when the waitress comes over, the SIM is still overcome with sadness and dissapointment that she can barely talk about it. So WIB explains how she found a peice of hair in her food. The waitress is kind, and treats her accordingly..... like someone in the family has died. She kindly asks if she would like another for free, and at this, the SIM has another bout of indecisiveness that WIB has to ask her again...and she finally agrees to free food.

The waitress is gone and WIB exclaims "Lets get back to your OTHER problem... about the gambling"

I dont know what happened after this because we were laughing so hard we had to leave the resturaunt. But you see boys and girls, gambling can cause SUCH a problem in our parents lives.. so the next time you think about playing POKER.... FOR MONEY... just remember what you could be causing...

The Longest Shadows...

One fine day a lonely girl walked down the street. Wondering if those blue eyes would ever return to her, if the dream she had dreamed would come back to her. Could any song bring him back? Could any tale make him understand her feelings? She had once been filled with glimmer and shine, but now all remained was a battered soul with what only seemed to be bad dreams ahead. The days go by and she ages, the girl she was before... she has still not returned.

He comes into her life, she pretends that it is love. There seems to be a glimmer of light, but it quickley fades away with the passing of only one year. Nevermore will she be filled with life, only days muddled together in a series of blurs. The sorrow that constantly drips into her heart comforts her like a dripping tap in the middle of the night. She is reminded of that first love. The first time she gave her whole heart, hoping for the same in return. The glass was half full, and she was the sunshine through that cloudy day. Now all she sees is that half empty glass, and her heart is drowning.

Aimlessly she writes, but there is nothing to write about.. it will never go away, she's waiting for someone she is yet to meet......

dot dot dot...

I was walking down the street the other day, i saw the homeless man mentioned previousley, his dog was gone... i wonder what happened to it, maybe it died.. or maybe he ran away..

In other news, I held a newborn the other day for the first time... he's so cute, his name is Holden.

And now onto blogging.....

Its beginning to feel alot like winter here in calgary, they're calling for snow by Thursday... what kind of Haloween would it be without a snowsuit and snow on the ground? In the new season i have given up my taste for the White Chocolate Mocha and switched to the Chai Latte, Soy milk, and water. These are my staple fluids. A not so recent event, but i have given up my taste in strange music (it came with the dissapearing of my cd's). Since the Breakingintothecarandhavingnocd's event i have picked up some good cd's such as... Arcade Fire, Coldplay, Matt Good (in a coma), Snow Patrol, Bloc Party (AGAIN), Sparta (wiretap scars), LIVE, Joseph Arthur, Amos Lee, Aqualung.... and the list goes on and on... AND ON.. anyway, i'm getting a good collection but it still needs to be built. I'm seriousley considering going back to school for art, maybe taking art history etc and going into Art Appraisal... the life of answering phones , accepting packages and doing random favors.. isnt really for me.

Today i calculated, while working at RS Marketing, how many people i talked to in a 6 month period. In the 6 months that i worked there i talked to an average of 13,000 people. THATS ALOT! And I keep running into the same random creepy guy from there, its weird.

Anyway, i know this isn't the most amazing blog but... this weeks person is Eric. A pretty interesting guy, from montreal... Oh so interested in the matrix, Star Trek and just interesting style... he's gone now, back to Montreal but not without asking when i was going to get a real job and use my talent.. not without saying that i'm welcome to visit him and his wife anytime.. and not without sending flowers thanking everyone for the memories. On that note... we'll miss you eric, You're an awesome guy!

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I'm in EDMONTON... and the oilers suck!

Well this weekend we took the much needed trip to Edmonton. It's always good when you get the chance to get out and do a little bit of dressup, partying... and yes.. watching napoleon Dynamite. I definatley think i should read the book "Sciences and Centaurs." Anyway... not too much to say... here is a picture of my hot friends. Yes.. it is true.. you all missed out! Yay, we get cable on Wednesday... HOCKEY!!!!!!!!!

This picture is amazing.. i know you love it!

A New Character...

Today, Intrigued by the resemblence between so many different people, I came up with a new Blog idea. A new character, or person that intrigues me in some way. Could be a friend, family, someone from the past or just a stranger walking on the street.

Today's character is a man, long beard, grey hair. I've never seen this man walk but yet I see him everyday, sitting on the street corner. Alongside this man is a small dog whose tongue is always hanging out the side of it's mouth. The man never really talks, but just sits there... watching life go by... or maybe just waiting for an end, or a new beginning. His silence is persistant and confusing. Does he just not have anything to say at all, or does he simply not feel he can say it? He seems to be a cookie cutter image of the streets of downtown. Lined with people.. dirty and sleeping, with no where to go. Do they even have the will to do anything about it?

A perticular series of unfortunate events...

Once upon a time there was a girl and her sister. We will call these two girls Maj and Neesha. So one morning Maj and Neesha were getting ready to go to work, everything going fine... listening to music drinking coffee, the usual. They go out to the car, SCRAPE off that THICK calgary Frost and start driving.

On This perticular morning though, Maj noticed something different about her car. For some reason every time she would even think about letting go of the steering wheel for a second, the car seemed to RUSH towards the curb. Feeling rather perplexed by this phenomenon, she politely yelled to Neesha her sister. "Get the HELL out and look at my wheel." In a FLASH Neesha was out of the car shaking her head. "Your FREAKING tire is flat" she said. Maj, feeling fairly satisfied with this answer, summoned Neesha back into the car. As the gas station was only approximatley one block away, they figured they could get there and pump it up. Now i never said that our two characters were BRIGHT.

After driving about 5 meters Maj decided that they would never make it to the gas station without ruining SOMETHING. So at this point, Maj runs home (the WHOLE BLOCK) and gets the mother to drive Neesha to work, and calls the father to change her tire ... TO THE DONUT!

Father dear shows up, goes through the procedure of explaining and showing Maj how to remove a tire.... now if only it would have come off.. after trying for about half an hour, Maj calls AMA and man (he was pretty good looking) shows up with his LARGE PLANK OF WOOD. With two vigorous strikes to the tire, it was off. It seems it was corroded to the car. At this point many insignificant events happen. The Donut goes on, they give their thanks to the AMA man, Maj thanks her father, eats a sandwich (yes, it was 8 am), and promises to take care of something for him in return.

She gets in her now DONUTED car, and drives to FOUNTAIN TIRE, where they proceed to tell her that she needs $700 of repairs.... and two new tires. GO FIGURE, more repairs. She gets one of the tires and goes to work. Gets in trouble for well... um .. thats another story. Meets up with mother dear and at approximatley 7:30 pm. And to finish off this good story, she forgot to do the thing she had promised father dear.

All in all, it was bad day, but.... soon her car will be fixed!!!

The Coming of Fall.. and the passing of time

As She walked down the street one frightfully cold day in September, she realized that she had come to a fork in the road in her life. One where she would make very important decisions, and let go of some mistakes she had made in the past. As it happens every year, She'll let go of that one relationship that actually didn't matter, and move on to the one she has now. The decision to be happy with life, and accept herself for who she was and who she will be. Never to pretend to be something else, for he will need to see the true person she is.

They say "Be true to yourself", but what does it really mean? How can we actually be true to yourself? Should this mean that we are to be ignorant to others feelings and thoughts? With everyone you meet, they affect you or change you in some way. For better or for worse, this is the way it is. The struggle to always make the right decision is constantly there. "Go with the flow" isnt really a choice anymore. It always seems to be predetermined, so does this mean that the feeling that she is destined to be alone, is true? She is constantly trying to make all the right decisions.

The coming of fall seems to bring back those feelings of loneliness felt for so long, looking at other relationships and wondering if they will end up happy.

You can never really tell. A person can only hope for the best, and prepare for the worst. Time will pass, the leaves will fall, the seemingly everlasting snow will come and the cycle will start again.

Here's to a new season, new beginnings Love and heartbreak!

Flashback....kcabhalF

As she sat there at her desk of her Medeokre job the thought about times passed. About the last "job." Thoughts of merching in the field, the infamous "bell." and the saying "JUICE." A smile swept across her face while thinking about these bygones. It was definatley a good time, always striving to be something better, and always competing with someone else. It was always there! Now she sits in an office, typing up shipping documents and answering a telephone, loading printers with paper and toners. Watching her life drift away in to an oblivious blunder of weeks and weekends filled with nothing. There's always that time when you start to think "will my life ever mean anything?"

the nameless cow

Eddie bought me a cow... what should i name it.. any ideas???????

Please... UnTaper the pants!

Lately I've been noticing the copious amounts of TAPERED JEANS AND PANTS!!! Seriousley now.. what is with the tapered pants? and how exacltey to people get them on? The other day i was in play.. and it was seriously disturbing how many girls were wearing tapered jeans. The story gets sadder when guys start wearing OLD tapered jeans.. like.. the ones from the early nineties it seems where they're BAGGY and tapered.. oh its just so sad! Thank heaven some people in the world still have style. Also, our good friend Sarah has noticed the tapered jeans catastrophe, and i quote "He was wearing tapered jeans... ON OUR SECOND DATE" Now really boys, don't break out the tapered jeans until the girl can't run away from you because of your poor quality in style. You have to resist the urge until you are at least dating and she needs a good reason to get rid of you, not that tapered jeans isnt a good reason.

p.s. its also bad when you start seeing girls that have tapered jeans and you can see their "breifs" because they want to be like a man!

that is frightning.

Happily Ever Trapped!

There's something misterious about looking out a window and seeing what seems to be a white wall, looking at a man that is frowning and smiling at the same time. The little dog who's mouth is closed but his tongue still hangs out.

Theres something nostalgic about listning to old cd's. Smelling something that reminds you of the past, or walking through a door you haven't walked through in a long time.

There's a certain theory that goes like this: You don't have to love your past or even like it, but just realize that if you didnt do what you did then you woulden't be who you are, every person and experiance changes who you are and makes you who you are now!

Amos Lee

I've come today to tell you only one thing.

YOU SHOULD BUY THE AMOS LEE CD! I recently purchaced this cd. Its got a tupac(changes)/norah Jones/blue Rodeo feel to it. Really good, if you don't buy it.. at least give it a listen. Now... thats all i have to say.. so... wel..... im gonna go now.. and play solitaire.

Not for those with Weak Stomaches.

If you have a weak stomach, or even just a stomach that isn't strong, i suggest you skip this blog and move on to the next one.





This is definatley one of those, "This girl's guy friend told my friend Sarah who told me" stories. Moving on, if you are having a bad day... this will always remind you that it could DEFINATLEY be worse. So this one night a whole group of people go out partying... of corse there is drinking and such and after everyone is all ready to go aka too INTOXICATED to stay ... a certain girl and certain guy go home together. She feels that she knows the guy well enough that when they get to his/her house... they fool around and she ends up giving him a blow job. So anyway... she goes home sleeps does the norm .... and a few days later she realizes that something is wrong with her mouth.. after realizing that it isn't just some cold or sore throat she goes to the docter and they do the swabby on the throaty ... and send it away for tests..... after the test results come back they call her and say (typically of course) " we need you to come in for your test results" she tries to convice the doc's office to just tell her over the phone but they insist that she comes in. When she does come in they tell her that the reason something seems to be wrong with her mouth is because she has flesh eating disease in it. Now the really bad part is ... this is only transmitted through DEAD PEOPLE........


not that that is bad enough but the creepy part...................... the "certain guy" works in a morgue!

So next time you decide to hook up with someone... find out their place of employment.... could end up being a shady situation!







p.s. hopefully you have a garbage can to puke in!

let me tell you a story....

I really dont feel like telling a story. To many that will most likely be very strange because I almost am always telling a story. Firstly i would like to say that i may in the near future be making a trip to Panoka so if anyone would like to join in on the mental fun join along. Our Tour guide "Sheena" will be giving us a tour of our new home in the Panoka Mental hospital. Now.. i MUST recomend before going to Panoka, the JOSEPH ARTHUR - OUR SHADOWS WILL REMAIN cd. This Cd may just make you feel amazing inside, more amazing then i feel now. Now, for all of you reading this, i also recomend that you visit the Wes McDonell Website ( http://www.wesmcdonell.com ) and listen to this music as well, cd's are now on sale at cd baby and you can get the link from this website. Now if you will excuse me.. i must try and prepare for the future as this trip to Panoka may be a stressful one!

Tata for now all...

p.s. Check out this sweet drawing of my hot man angel!!! mm.. So hot! (the legs took me FOREVER)

Someone.. give me advice.. what should i do????? and When should i do it??

The Way I See It

Being an avid Coffee Drinker of Starbucks, I constantly see the "The Way I See it" quotes. Today's was particularly good, so i have decided to quote a quote. I really like this one, give you a little bit of hope and satisfaction at the same time!

The Way I See it #9: We constantly cast the lure of expectations ahead of us hoping to hook a desired piece of the future. Something unimaginable always takes the bait.

ps. Remember all, be careful with your drinks... the contents may burn the user!








<- I can't afford Real Roses... so.. you can have this one! i made it myself!

I FEEL GOOD!

HOOT, today i am legal all round cananda! Also, i found the shirt i wanted from AE, it says ... I FEEL GOOD.. its SO cute.. look.. there it is ->

Anyway... i dont have much to say, this is my encouragement t shirt. So, i bid you adeiu.. and most likely, no one even reads this anymore...... but thats ok... its means somiething TO ME... HA

ok.... im done

Why am i sad?

this isnt one of those things where you tell me why i'm sad. its the one where i say, someone broke into my car for the second time and stole ALL but 10 cd's from me as well as my Jack daniels belt. AND MY CAR WAS IN HIDDEN VALLEY!!!! FEEL SORRY FOR ME.. so ... if anyone would like to buy me a present, cd's or a Jack belt would do fine! .... or the sweet belt buckle off the sparta website!

ok.. well... feel sorry for me... they stole my things... weep weep!

10 top ways to waste time!

As I am sitting here in my most comfortable pink/burgundy/dirty chair I have come up with 10 top ways to waste time! Ok, here it goes, i'm not promising anything,

10)talking on the phone ( a good time if youlike the person, but... many times you end up answering your phone and its just someone who you've been avoiding and they called from a dfferant phone)

moving on,

9) working,.... where this can be good for the... uuh... making money factor, mostly working is a good waste of time.... unless you get paid to paint... or sing.... or... maybe .... some eating, or to shop.

and 8) sleeping, yes it does do the body good.. but really, you spendlike.. what half of your life sleeping.... beds can be used for better things..... like... JUMPING ON THEM, or making forts.. or maybe......... using for a fire.

now, i cant help notice that the 8 looks much like a 3 and since I am running out of amazing things, we shall move to #2.

2) something that is a waste of time and ranks worse than the previous.. cough... 8, would be... darning socks, although i make this a good pastime, there is a reason why it is called a pass.... TIME...

AND THE NUMBER ONE WAY.... out of... 10!.. to waste time.. is

1) watching jackfish spawn!.... ok well.. this has proven to be a pretty... um AMAZING blog so... here is something that will bring extreme happiness... now.. make sure you have your speakers on...

he has some good skill!.... s

http://www.homestarrunner.com/sbemail58.html

check it out!

BEER!

According to our last survey, YOU voted that your favorite beverage was BEER. 33% said beer, 25 % said Jack, and 21% decided to be homo's and not choose anything. I now challange you to choose OUT OF THE POSTED CHOICES.... a beer that is your favorite! Recently in my travels i have had the rare oppurtunity of touring as the CORONA man. Here's a Collage of me in my travels:

Yes... its preety good looking. I definatley recomend to anyone, taking the Corona suit on a tour, you will enjoy great night life, CAR shows as well as helping out lost American tourists on a beach. Also another possible idea is to lend this costume to someone for Halloween, As I do not participate in Halloween... the costume would be free at this time. Perhaps you could add some modifications to it... perhaps some sunglasses like these ones?.... I think they could work.. but ... Before you go anywhere you MUST tell me... WHAT is the differance between Corona and Coronita???

I leave this with you... the correct answer will win a PRIZE!!!!

A Dream Within a Dream

I have decided that to add to the word of the day, we will also have INTERESTING FACTS!!!! Today's word of the day is POLYGLOT. A person who speaks many differant languages.

An Interesting Fact (dedicated to the copious amounts of mosquitoes in calgary): Only Female Mosquitoes bite, and the apparatus that they suck your blood with is NOT their nose, it is called a proboscis. The Reason why it swells up and is itchy is becasue the mosquitoe leaves some of its saliva and your body proceeds to ATTACK it, its like... when something is healing, its always itchy.. same thing!

After writing that, i realized that female bugs are quite annoying, like.. if you really think about it... many times the little man spider has to like... HIDE from its woman so that she doesnt eat it! and the woman Mosquitoe drinks our blood.... Something funny you could do is let the mosquitoe drink as much blood from you as it can and then watch it have a hard time fly away... also.. i suppose that could be quite discusting!

A Poet whom i'm sure you know, Edgar Allan Poe ,In 1836 married his 13-year-old cousin Virginia Clemm!


Edgar Allan Poe - A Dream Within A Dream

Take this kiss upon the brow!
And, in parting from you now,
Thus much let me avow--
You are not wrong, who deem
That my days have been a dream;
Yet if hope has flown away
In a night, or in a day,
In a vision, or in none,
Is it therefore the less gone?
All that we see or seem
Is but a dream within a dream.

I stand amid the roar
Of a surf-tormented shore,
And I hold within my hand
Grains of the golden sand--
How few! yet how they creep
Through my fingers to the deep,
While I weep--while I weep!
O God! can I not grasp
Them with a tighter clasp?
O God! can I not save
One from the pitiless wave?
Is all that we see or seem
But a dream within a dream?

i like it.... a dream within a dream!

Ode to Photobooths...

This is my ode to photobooths, wether color or black and white. I'm sure many a time you have seen a photo booth and thought "gosh darn, i think i'm gonna go have some fun" although it is kindof hard when your alone... we all know the fun times that can be had! Photo Booth: 4 pictures taken consecutivly over a period of 3 minutes.

For example, you are strolling down the mall with one of your good friends when SUDDENLY you see a photo booth.. quickley you SCROUNGE up some money and squeeze through the door. Withen the 3 minutes, you are able to take 4 differant and halarious pozes, wether trying to flash the camera, change outfits completely or just simply changing seate, all can be quite challanging... my peice of advice is... practice photoboothing, this way you will become more experianced in the art and will one day be able to flash, change clothes and positions in all one session! It will definatley give you joy joy feelings inside when after, you get to look at your photos!

I advise all to check out photo #3 of amy and i, this brought many joy joy feelings and after we were caught in the act of laughing for approximatley 15 minutes!

Ya'll should take a joy ride!

First I would like to congradulate Emily on her NEWWWWW BERETTA!!!!!!!! I had the rare privelege of taking a joy ride in it on Saturday night! I must say, it brought excitement to my life. Upon recieving the mail today a Daily Events schedule of an upcoming event came into my hands and i would like to officially announce the upcoming !!! Now I know Ya'll are excited bout hootin an hollerin. I know that little griff will be almost the loudest one there, but that doesn't give none o' ya'll a good reason to not go and enjoy yerself . So saddle up put your ridin boots on and head on down to the CALGARY STAMPEDE, were everyone can have a good time. there'll be beer drinkin, and bull ridin'! Bands Playin and Children Screamin! You'll hear that Cow Mooin, and that Cowboy yellin. I dont wan't none o' yall to be afraid so, just remember... this is a part of ALBERTA, and a part o' Calgary!



Todays word is SHAKE... check THIS out.... Yeah, theres more where that came from!

Pesant Vision and the BELL Blimp!

Yes I truely say to you all, you may see the blimp. One ordinary day you may be tiding the seemingly already "tidy" board room, when suddenly a Bell BLIMP will just mosey on by the buildings. Now in any of your past lives or this one for that matter, you have not seen the "Bell BLIMP" (which will now be referred to as "BBlimp") and it makes you rather excited that you are reciving the good fortune to see this magnificant device. If you did not get the chance to see this BBlimp today, you may have seen it in Victoria in April! Those of you with pesant vision may not be able to catch this phenominon on television, but for only $45.00 a month you can be UPGRADED!!! <- You may feel joyful when finding that "you have been upgraded!!" For those who unfortunatley, will not be upgraded, are only enjoying pesant vision or are completely oblivious to the world, this is the BBlimp was seen hovering over the city of calgary on June the 15th!

p.s. Today's word of the day is FebRUary. I can now spell it correctly, and if that is wrong.... i may slap myself in the face promptly!

Subside

My word of the day for today is Subside. As in "The Flood waters Calgary was facing are beginning to subside."

As this is the truth! And just in time for the convention! The sun is finally poking through the clouds for the first time in about 10 days! we WILL see summer. funny how it came RIGHT AFTER we bought tanning minutes! no.. i don't see any irony, although that probally isnt the correct use of the word, i still don't see it! or perhaps i do. i dont know... WHAT I DO KNOW.. Beer has taken the floor and Jack has sequestered. Fear creeps over her as she realizes she forgot to send a most important package, this fear is calmed by the fact that she will soon be enjoying a doubletallsugarfreenonfatvanillalatte. I leave you with one question... is there any reason why I should stop drinking coffee?

And i bid you adieu.

I only ask you to see in it... what you see in it... life isn't always what it seems.

Music You should hear-- Jack Tells you to!

I have nothing to say except for you should check out these bands!!

Bloc Party {Silent Alarm}

Kaki King {Legs To Make Us Longer}

Death from above 1979

Sparta (of course)

Arcade Fire

Anna Nalick

DEFINATLEY DEFINATLEY DEFINATLEY check out the first two (bloc Party and Kaki King) Realy really good!

See ya FOOOOOLS... p.s. Take the new poll! Jack is winning!

The good, the bad and the forgotten!

I dedicate this to...... my dearest Tweety... She was a good bird!


" Humas are creatures of habit." <- Ever heard that expression before? Many times i'm sure, but if you really think about it, what else would we be other than creatures of habit, its not like EVERY SINGLE DAY you're going to wake up and not do ANYTHING the same as the day before, yes because.... people have to go potty! you may never go in the same place...... although highly unlikely.. so there we go.. already creatures of habit! This leads into change, its funny how people don't like change unless it HAS to happen. You can say, i dont want it to change, no no no no no, but we all know.. it is still going to. After you accept that things are going to change, you change you habits on purpose, to stop reminding you the way it used to be. If you never changed, you would be stuck forever, wearing the same perfume... and looking at the same pictures! I hate change, I like the new perfume i found, but i dont want to forget ..... anything that has ever happened... it will happen, but i wish it wouldent. I would take almost any experiance and say "i'm glad it happened" because (i'm sure you've heard this one too) "its better to have loved and lost, then never to have loved at all" ... this doesnt just apply to "love" take sports... "its better to have played and lost, then never to have played at all" for example. It applies to all aspects of life, if you didn't have experiances you woulden't be who you are today. So in conclusion, i would like to say i dont like change, but i'm glad it happens.... and the word of the day.... bum bum bum BUUUMMM>.........

Esoteric

two people in the last couple of weeks said this word to me.. .AND I WAS SO SURPRISED... this is like.. my favorite word EVER.. and i dont think i've ever heard anyone but me use it! Exciting!

and now..... I would like to mention that everyone should be checking out my voicemail, it changes regularly and right now , is quite halarious.

Like a Rose growing through a pile of dog poo.

Ever Have one of those years where it just SUCKS? If no, lets go with just a WEEK that sucks, everyone has had those. Where you wake up in the Mornin, Positive as a Battery get ready for work, just to realize that your CAR has been completely filled with RANSACKARY! Your Prized belongings, including your new pink bag are all missing or strewn across the neighborhood. And just because thats how life goes, they took your favorite cd too. Now by this point no matter when you leave you'll be late for work, so you call in saying "I probally wont be there for a while", get patronized and have to answer approximatley 53 questions on why you will be late and what happened. You gather your things from the street to realize you will be going to work Musicless. Jump in your car, and go to the train station, but because it is now 9:00am there is ABSOLUTLEY NO PARKING.. so its, get a ticket, get towed, or dont go to work. You park, get on the train and go to work... arrive late with about one milion things to do and get at it.. the day is Crap, and you dont get lunch! FINALLY its over back to the train station and to you complete SURPRISE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! you have a PARKING TICKET.... now that makes 3! You're so tired, a lady cuts you off, a stupid kid just WALTZES in front of your car... so naturally you LAY ON THE HORN! Finally you get home, make dinner and as the conversation moves on and suddenly out of nowhere you have a new inside joke... we willrefer to this as "LETS HAVE SOME CAKE!" out of the whole day.. you finally are laughing for about 10 minutes straight as well as random times after that... you go to bed and wake up the next day... again... Optimistic but your clock is set ahead, you rush out of the house.. without keys, your swipe card or glasses... looks like you'll be getting to have a migrane for the REST OF THE WEEK!... luckey person! But just remember the inside joke... its like the rose in the pile of dog poo!

The "real" Smarties, a Phenominon that Never came to Canada!

Interesting Facts 101!

Today I found out a most interesting fact.. Some how This glorious phenominon never Hit Canada. Real Smarties, Originating in England.. Had Orange smarties.. Now I hear you saying well "we have orange smarties too!" but you see, In England the orange smarties have ORANGE Chocolate inside of them! It is quite Amazing, i got to enjoy these "original" smarties just today, and i highly recomend going to England and Getting some Smarties!

YEE HAW!!!

Well my friends, we have successfully entered the warm tender months, also known as Calgary Summerishwinterthing. During this season, if living in Calgary, you will have the great chance to: Go camping and get snowed on, Get snowed into your home on July 31, Tan in the great outdoors with the snow, Go swimming in a man made lake, Have a BBQ during a blizzard, Have a campfire next to a frozen lake, and many other Joyus occations.

During Calgary's Summerishwinterthing, you will also get to visit the greatest outdoor show on earth also known as "The Calgary Stampede." Most of the time, during the Calgary stampede we will be blessed with good weather, as in not - 20! As im sure many have noticed, i do have a poll ----------------------------> on this event. I suggest EveryoneNow i'm not sure which person would be crazy enough to call me a homo because i have fun at stampede. It surely is a pimping good time! If though you do not see the glorious times enjoyed at the CS let me share them with you. 1) The Chuckwagon Races, 2) Rodeo, 3) Beer Gardens, 4) Nashville North, 5) Concerts at Coke Stage, 6) Rides (the fun ones.. Drop of fear, the big bunji thing, free fall etc.) 7) KARAOKE!! 8) Cowboys, 9) Heavy Horse Pull, 10) Bannok!

There you go, at least 10 good reasons to go and visit the stampede, i could go on forever you know it is just a good time.... Ya'll should go down there this year! Take Jack and all your friends with you, Captain Morgan, Mike.... you get the point!

I have a new hero!

So Cheryl's daughter was being harrassed by a boy in her school...he was saying things like she had a big butt, and calling her slut etc..., she one day turned to him and said "You know...your the load your mother should have swallowed" he stood there with his mouth open after that!!!!

That is one of the best burns i think i've ever heard! and she's only 14!

Do YOU live in a movie?

ITS MAY!! BAH! thats all i have to say for this line!


Ever feel like you are sitting on the sidelines watching a movie about your own life? You're sitting on the train or driving in your car, walking down the street just listning to music, when a flood of memories come on. Its like a flashback in a movie, you see all these differant things in your head and they seem real. You are in and out of this feeling, first because the song changes, then because the lady sitting beside you is nodding off but her elbow keeps falling off the window sill jerking her awake. A new song comes on, and you see a couple walking down the street and drift back into your "movie world" and its weird because it ACTUALLY feels like your living in a movie. You can see yourself looking around, and everyone looking at you, the music fits, and so do the memories. You feel at peace because movies always have good endings somehow. But then, you snap out of it, its time to get off the train/out of the car and you realize, that wasnt your life, it was what you wanted it to be. And in real life, there are few happy endings.

Ever feel that way?

Bad Advertising and Funny things.

Today they were selling girl guide cookies below the airplane in the petro can centre. On my way down the elevator i was seriousley considering getting some girl guide cookies. And girl guides started me thinking of Amy Gagne when she was a girl guide. Now I always think of girl guides as the skinny little 12 year old girl or younger selling cookies at your door. AHAAAAA no no. When i proceeded to get off of the elevator i realized that the world was changing. The two girl guides that were selling the cookies were... well we'll say, 3 times the size of me EACH. Now I sure didn't want to get any cookies after that... which made me wonder how many they actually sold today, because really, if i felt that way, i wonder how many other people did. I realize that this sounds quite rude, but really it seems that it is just false advertising for girl guide cookies.... or maybe not!!!


p.s. (POST STORY) Before a friends daughters birthday party they were blowing up balloons, my friend, being the mom, was blowing up the balloons up quickly and efficiently. With big eyes her daughter looked up at her and said "mommy, your a GOOOOOOOD blower." And her husband, under his breath said "she sure is!"

That one made me laugh out loud!!!!... I GET A GITUAR TONIGHT!!!

Healing Pain With Laughter

Many will say that you cannot heal pain through laughter. I definatley agree with this statement, although pain can be quite funny. Of corse i have a million examples to back this up but we will take, the most recent, the funniest and the most painful!

This blog was inspired by my clumsiness today. As of 3:30 I successfully hurt myself in stupid ways twice. First, not quite funny but quite painful , I opened the door and smoked my elbow quite hard. i told you it wasnt funny. the second time though, i was exiting the bathroom and opened the door to the hallway, instead of giving it the usual rough tug, i just gently opened it. To my discgrace, the door did not open enough for me to fit through. Although the space was smaller than I, this DID NOT STOP ME! I proceeded to clumsily jam myself through the door, while bumping into the door frame and getting hit in the head by the door itself. Did i mention there were people in the hallway watching!

Now, as i'm sure you guessed, things like this have happend to a few in my family. Lets go with good ol clumsey sheen. We will never let sheena forget her moment of digrace when she was walking across the EMPTY floor in the piano store and right there, fell flat on her face! The best part about this is there was an old man in the piano store that LAUGHED AT HER AND MADE OF HER AFTER!! This was the climax of Sheena's clumsy carrier, which included walking into a poll, falling up the stairs and breaking her nose as well as just the other day sneezing so hard she hit her head on the gas meter!

yes it is true we will include the other sister. On this particuar evening Xylia was the Designated driver so was not drinking. While carriying two drinks to her friends she (VERY SOBER) falls DOWN the stairs and falls face first into the empty dance floor, spilling the drinks all over. Yet again, to her horrible disgrace.

Now we all know i could go on all night about how once kim was chasing the drunken amy and instead of AMY falling.. kim falls down the stairs.. or many examples to this sort. But that is all the time we have for this episode children, so just remember. Whenever you JAM your finger while playing football, just remember to SCREAM in pain, and then laugh till you cry. You will NOT feel better... just amused!

10 Words of WISDOM.. by Jamie

Now i know when you hear that, it seems like a contradiction. Especially since i spelt Hilarity wrong!

This will be a chance for everyone to add words of wisdom of their own in the comments section.
10) Always make fun of yourself.
9) Believe in something unordinary
8) Notice strange things while on the train (like a shopping cart in the river, or a mitten on a sign post)
7) Do Crazy things unexpectadley, this way people will not think you are a snob (espically if you are beautiful and witty like myself)
6) Try and tell people what you truely feel, even if they dont feel the same
5) Laugh at everything you can, people are drawn to happiness
4) While being photographed make the stupidest faces possible, this will add to the effect of the picture.
3) When a manager walks out with a client while you are at work, make sure you stare at the good looking one until he notices you.(You cannot use your wits as much while in the workplace)
2) IF your a girl, learn how to chop wood correctley!
and my NUMBER ONE PEICE OF ADVICE IS........ dun dun dun DUUUUN
1) Dont be afraid to make a fool out of yourself, who cares what other people think, its your life, why not enjoy it!!!!


For All the friends doin exams right now, GOOD LUCK.. inspired from the late TC a drawing.
The Four Stages Of Exam Preperation!


Good luck Ya'll!!!

p.s . stay tuned for an example of "words of advice" - no 4

Halarity...

First before anything, i would like to exclaim my love for the word Halarity. The best part about this word is that it is halarious itself. I saw someone use it in their blog and i got very happy that someone else uses this word in their vocabulary.

I'll tell you what true halarity is, people watching!! They are quite halarious to watch, the things they do when they dont think anyone is watching, or KNOW someone is watching. The best part is how people walk when they know someone is watching or not. I am the kind of person who always looks at a persons walk. I've seen a few good walks in my day, if i'm friends with you, you probably have a good walk, if not...well you know why now! Watching Skateboarders is quite funny, they will try and try and try the same trick over and over and over and land the same way, OVER AND OVER AND OVER.. until they FINALLY get it, and as soon as they do, they move on! ....... .....


p.s. This isnt finished, i'll finish it tomomrow, for now, its sleepy time for Jammy jam, GOODNIGHT BINKEY!


p.s. i painted this on a shirt of mine, its sweet!

The misfortune of a Wedding.

I'm not sure if you have all had the misfortune of going to a wedding, but i have. Last night was my friend Benny's wedding. It was fun.. Beautiful wedding, bride looked beautiful, groom looked handsome, typical wedding. I just realized last night that weddings are a pretty sad occation for lots of people. Its happy for the bride and groom, because they have found eachother. But most times, its stressful for them, because they want everything to go right. Its possible that it is sad for the parents, because they may feel like they are losing their son or daughter. The siblings feel like they're losing a brother/sister. The guests that are married but unhappy are unhappy because they wish they were. The people who are single are sad because they dont have anyone. And of course, they play slow songs that were most likely one of yours and a past girl/boyfriend. And all the while your just hoping that they end up happy together. But, thats it for my analyzation of weddings. Congrats Benny and Tania, Hope it works out for you. May all your dreams come true except for one, so you always have something to look forward to.

"Love through bodily functions"

I'm sure that many times you have seen people spitting on the street. Now many people, mostly in an older population would find this very Rude. I mean SPITTING on a STREET! Now others in fact would not find bodily functions rude at all, and as for spitting they find it so tasteful that they will SPIT ON THEMSELVS or their belongings.

Now, on this particular day, I was feeling quite low. As I walked into the office (RS Marketing) I found myself wanting to get rid of the extra saliva in my mouth. As I went to spit to the side, I found a my friend (Dan aka MAYO) running up next to me, but it was too late, so instead of spitting on Mayo, i spit on myslef. After this event I felt quite alot more relieved and happy. Now many of you would find this quite discusting, but if we look further into my family we will find more evidance of "Love through bodily functions."

For example, one beautiful day, my sister was doing laundry! Something she rather loved to do, on this particular day though, she had a cold. As she was hanging her husbands clothes to dry she violently sneezed. Now she loves her husband very much. Unlike me she did not sneeze on herself, rather, because of her love for her husband, she sneezed directly on his shirt leaving a treat for him to find at a later time. As you can see, more "love through bodily functions."

As I'm sure your thinking, i have two sisters, WHAT ABOUT THE OTHER ONE!? While Courting her soon to be Husband, my other sister decided to display her love for him. While lying beside her beau, she let one go, LOUDLEY! She wanted to display her love so EVERYONE would know. For some reason, her beau did not understand this display of affection and proceeded to thrust her off the couch onto the concrete floor. We now understand that this "love" was not understood by him, and was not aware of "love through bodily functions."

I do not suggest doing this around people who are only aquantiances, but rather only ones you truely love. So the next time your best friend burps so loud you think it was a garage door opening, realize they are only expressing their exuberant love for you.

A Flashback to Elementary!

So somehow the other day I was at work and I started singing "there's a hole in my bucket dear Liza Dear Liza..." and so on, and I got to thinking about elementary school. It was SO much fun! Its funny how they have sing along for kids, but then again where would we get these crazy songs!{Mr Foster the crazy sing along teacher! (was that his name?)} I think my favorite one was the " I like to eat, i like to eat, i like to eat eat apples and bananas" and then it carries on with all the vowels! The best part about the sing along is that I was talking to my little Sarah the other day and she was singing songs she had learned. Another good one was "Nobody likes me, everybody hates me, I'm gonig to the garden to eat worms" Kind of a funny depressing song!

There were funny fads in elementary, like the spice girls! And everyone gets so excited about the funniest things. Doing Bells in music class with mrs. Doland, leaving early because we were PATROLS! Haha, Amy G, Krystal R and I would always RACE to the other corner of the feild at lunch. WE DUG a HUGE hole for like 3 years straight with plastic tea spoons from the lunch room. The best one.. SPORTS DAY! I think the funniest thing, now that i think about it, it was in grade 5 in mr. Olivier's class I dont remember exactley what happened but i either forged a signature or copied off someone or something and they MATCHED my writing to my scribbler and they were like "Jamie is this your writing" and i was so afraid! I tried to forge my moms signature acouple times, once when i was in grade 3 in mrs. Jayman/Mitchell's class. OOPS that didnt work well! I think everyone has had a few funny elementary experiances.

The word of the day!

Now I'm sure we've all heard of "word of the day" toilet paper!! I like to use big words to make others with small brains feel useless. Now although I sometimes am the person with a small brain I still like to use big words.

Today's word is Copious. As in, "There is a Copious amount of sugar in here" or, "He used Copious amounts of Hair Gel in his hair today."

Also, Copious was word of the day on September_24,_1999.

So there we have it. A new word to use in every day language. Now, can anyone tell me what Ironic means?

Why Summer Is EMAZINK!

Isn't it funny how one day can trigger so many memories. That was today for me, so many things that happened today reminded me of summers past and the amazing times we had. Also it reminded me of some of my favorite things.

1) Jolly Ranchers- Just cus they're so yummy
2) Campfires - CAMPING and the smell of your clothes after
3) The Stampede- cus its ALWAYS fun ... come on, COWBOYS!!
4) Taking a drive at sunset
5) Listning to music in my car
6) Going for ice cream with my dad
7) Walking at night
8) Looking at the stars (and not being freezing)
9) YARD WORK... ha kidding
10) Chasing my dog around the yard
11) Listning to someone play gituar
12) Playing in Sprinklers at night
13) aimlessly walking in the sun
14) Phone calls from someone you haven't heard from in a long time
15) sundresses
16) watermelon
17) YARD SALES
18) Cheerio's (Apple cinnamon are good Rylan, but nothing beats honey nut)
19) Staying up all night talking with friends
20) HOT TUBS
21) Suntanning
22) Camping

The list could go on and on, summer is so much fun, Here is a flash back to last summer and the fun times we had! AND a picture of Tam and the Carrera.. oooh soo nice!

p.s. amy and kim, dont miss the pic of mr.freeborn HA!


What are your favorite summer events... do you like galooshing?

Baruphamorse

This is called Baruphamorse, I didn't draw it! I found it today, its pretty kuhl! Anyway, you should guess who drew it! I know its not as amazing as some of my drawings, but ya.. GUESS!

The world is going CRAZY!

Yesterday I found out the most ATROTIOUS THING! One of the girls I work with watched Napoleon Dynamite over the weekend, and SHE HATED IT! I coulden't believe it, she ACTUALLY turned it off half way through.

Now another thing that has been really getting to me lately is so many people's hate for PDA's! Ok seriousley, i understand not like MAKING out on the ctrain or in a mall or something, but some people are carrying this a LITTLE far. REALLY what is wrong with like a "public" HUG? or a little peck on the lips not like FULL OUT kissing, just a "hey i remember your here." I just think there are too many people going to extremes on this matter.

One thing that REALY makes me think the world is going crazy are these paintings!!


Now if you wanted to find these paintings you would simply have to look in various rooms in our office. Now really people, i understand its nice to have Art in the office, but can anyone ACTUALLY tell me what the first painting even IS ? (tell me your thoughts)


This one looks like a freaking MARSH done by someone who quit art class in grade 2! Now really people, if your gonna have art in the office let it be NICE art. God, i'm not one for loving the realism paintings of flowers but its better than a MARSH! I should perhaps be placing these paintings next to mine.. THEN they'll look AMAZING!

Last but not least... what is the deal with KEYPAD tones on Cellphones? they are SO annoying, why would you want somethign BEEPING EVERY TIME YOU TOUCH IT doesn't it give you some kind of WARNING vibe,like something is going to BLOW UP? hmm.. just a thought!

Now please friends, leave a comment on whatever you would like. I do enjoy the comments!

Things I would rather Ignore.

WARNING: This is a little more serious than all the others.

I have come to realize in the last little while that there are a few things that i am quite dissapointed in. As many know, things have changed alot in the past couple of months for me. I dont like change, AT ALL! But somehow, i've learned some things that i'd rather ignore.

Through a period of many serious talks, i was told some things i did not understand. Lately i have come to realize how you would rather let someone go than carry on and hurt them. How you would know it woulden't work out, when someone else had complete faith. Somehow i came to understand and feel that same way, how for some reason, it would never be better than it was at that moment. I wish I was still naive to this feeling, and didn't know what it meant. I wish that they were just words, and there were no feelings behind it. If I think back to differant conversations, its like I see it in a new light because nothing is the same anymore. Differant expressions will now mean something differant than they originally did because I now know the exact feeling, and it doesn't make me feel anything more than stupid.

A talk with my sister reminded me that some things haunt you forever. Not that you would know at the time, but somehow, it may not go away, the comparison always remains and you cant erase the memories. No matter how much you say "i dont care"( see the "i dont care" movement), you always will.

I find this very unfair because this is something I thought I had let go of, but after coming to this realization and understanding of the feeling, I believe that it will not be as easy to let go of as i had thought.

Thanks for the good times, they won't be forgotten.