Tis the Season..

As everyone got ready to enjoy the season, she sat there.. confused on how to feel. Happy that he was ok, but afraid for what could happen. It seems that so many enjoy the season, get excited for it, family and the like... but this always seemed to be the time when she was at her worst. Maybe it was that "new Beginning" that everyone talked about, but she feared so much. But maybe the new year would bring along a new life, a busier one..

A break is what she would get... a very much needed break, a chance to regroup, Move to a new place.. and what a better time than January 1 to get things started. Something seemed to feel like it was missing, and it was him.. She knew he would be all alone on Christmas, something so important to him. As proud as everyone felt, he was still alone.

Perhaps she would start to see those things that she saw before, that just made her laugh. For some reason she had started to ignore it all. Suddenly it seemed like she had to remember what to laugh at, something that had never posed a problem before. She would work it out and everything would change again. Just like they say "Change is one thing you can count on!"

Have a safe Holiday Season Everyone!

Stand up and face it

He had told her everything, and she had expected the worst. It wasn't the end, but it would be a change. She had found a diamond with a flaw, and wasn't about to throw it away. It should have had a greater value, but that didn't make it worthless. If nobody had flaws then the world would be a different place.

Be true to her word, or be true to herself? She could do both, tough love is what they would call it. He had given her a chance to get away from it all, but she didn't want it. Betrayel wasn't in her personality, nor did she want it to be. Not everyone would have told her the truth, many would have hid it. But he didn't. He stood up, and stood out.. said the hard thing, and gave her a choice. It wouldn't be easy, and many wouldn't understand, but she would not do the wrong thing... and throw him away.

As She sat there contimplating the event of telling him, she felt distress. What was he feeling at this very minute? For some reason she felt like she was falling apart. Her heart went out to him, what a time to be alone. And she was sure that is what he was feeling. 14 hours and she missed him more than ever. There was nothing left to do but wait.

Just another day..

As She reflected on the weekend she found herself feeling lost, alone and confused. She didn't know if she should trust him or not. Perhaps it actually wasn't really a question of trust, but maybe more of a suspicion. A long line of phone calls and answering machines left her worring about him. What had he been up to? Was there a specific reason that he was avoiding her? Her questions remained unanswered... and were constantly pestering her. She told herself that somewhere there was an answer, but she didn't know how to find it.

He wasn't a fan of confrontation, and neither was she. But was there really another choice in this situation? The real work would be GETTING TO SEE HIM, so she would be given the chance to talk to him.

She sat there scheming, fixing something so she KNEW he would show up. Perhaps she could lure him with a chocolate cake... or perhaps she would convince him that she was deathly ill. These both seemed like a formidable challange, as she didn't know how to make a decent chocolate cake, and being deathly ill would most likely involve a hospital.

She decided to do further investigating into the situation before she came to a decision. She would find out the truth, and SOON!

Untitled

When does dissatisfation with yourself turn into the complete distruction of your life?

This is my question.

Somehow it seems that when someone isn't satisfied with themselvs it leads to alot of generally bad things. They're sad, quiet, or perhaps rageful. Another thing that seems to happen is suicidal thoughts. I guess the real question is, what happened so bad that the person has come to think that they have no way out?

I once knew a young girl who was very happy, all the time. She was always laughing and smiling. But somewhere along the line it seemed that something got destroyed, and all of her happiness slipped away. I could never really figure out what it was. It seemed like she never wanted to be herself, or live her own life.. only someone elses. I don't think that she ever figured out why things turned out that way. This ultimatley lead to, not the demise of her... but of the little happy girl. It seems she didn't even know how to be herself anymore.

What do you do to help a person like this?