the things that you never say

Its interesting to look at the world and the experiences that all of us and our friends have gone through. To look and see how they've moulded our lives and who we are.

I notice every day how opposite my sister and I are, in almost every way, we're polar opposites. Maybe that's why I look up to her so much. Long ago, I was forced with realizing how much I would miss her if she was gone. If something in my life happened, she wouldn't be there to say "Jam, whats wrong?" and even though I'd abandoned her for monthes, she would be standing right there comforting me. Even though we fight to the death, and compete for everything... it wouldn't be good any other way.

There's something that is amazing about heart break, and how it forces me to look at the good in a sad situation. Something lost - something gained. It still hurts, but there is always something that you can smile about. Trying to remember that there will be something exciting in every day, you just have to look for it. Maybe it's your nephew smiling because he knows your voice, maybe its a meteor falling from the sky, the yellow leaves, the smell in the air, or just remembering how good a cup of tea can make you feel. Like the wise man says - We have a memory so that we can have roses in winter. Life is what happens when you're busy making other plans.

Dont worry... I know that you feel trapped, and I know you feel left behind. But would you give up everything that you have now, and the one thing that makes you happy just for a little freedom? I know you wouldn't because you love him too much, and would walk through fire for him. I've never seen you so happy, and I've never seen you love someone so much. The sweet isn't as sweet without the bitter. You are my strongest stronghold, you are my favorite person to laugh with, I will always be here for you. You will always be my best friend.

I love you sheena.